CHICKEN COUP!

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Yo,Don’t judge a Nigga.Cool?…The thing is…Truth is really stranger than fiction and the only thing am afraid of is Fear itself.
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So…I have this weird feeling that the chicken in our backyard are not as friendly as they pretend to be.Them twisted little buggahs with their tiny beady eyes throw side-glances at me and eye-ball me everytime we see eye to eye.Its…Awkward.And Curious.

They are plotting against us.I swear they are.I picture them every once in a while, maybe on Fridays…No, actually,on Mondays (when nobody really cares to check up on them),sitting around a table playing Cards or Chess or Checkers or just chilling, smoking on some high grade ish and talking, rather clucking, in low tones and discussing how they will overthrow the humans that have kept them captive for so long.I’m sure they are planning a Coup of some sorts

The plot henceforth thickens and reads like a slavery movie.

The leader is a fairly built chicken, too clever for her own good and clad in black feathers (looks like she’s wearing a black trench coat, Cool huh?).She lays out the strategy to the other chicken under the warm glow of the blinking bulb.They listen. Carefully.Each chip in their own ideas, most stupid, some not so stupid.The planning goes on for days on end  until they perfect it.
For some reason unknown to me, there is a sufficient lack of cocks  in that henhouse.

So,the other day am busy anikaing my clad and one of those cheeky little bastards bit ,rather pecked,my toes.Maybe the stupid thing thought my toes were maize seeds.So i fake a kick towards it but it only jumps a inch or 2 then retaliates, i wring some water from my clad onto its back but its unfazed,it doesn’t even move.Kwicha! Talk about Robot Chicken.I am so dead!…Then the worst happened, the other minion chicken nearby started approaching and forming a circle around me.Is this a dream?Is my tired mind hallucinating already?Am i seeing things? Why am i even asking this questions, they should read more like statements.Coz I’m pretty sure reality ain’t as twisted as this.Then again,Chicken.Really?…Shoot Me!

Editor’s Note-*This story is inspired by Real Life events…Weeell,Half Truth,Half Fiction.’Faction’ per se*

Back to the story…The villains first assault was crafty, cunning, clever and sincerely well thought out.They send in one of their best men or women, whatever,to infiltrate the castle.The spy was like a stealthy ninja in the Dark (only that it was morning)…I don’t know how she got in but when  the househelp got a hold of her, she was merciless.After a 10 minute chasing session, the poor thing was caught by the throat and given a few strokes of the kifagio…Hehe….But I still don’t know why she did that,maybe it’s because she’s a…nuuuh, no stereotyping…Yet!…The 2nd  onslaught was just…Shitty!Literally.I don’t know how they did it but one step outside the house and I was in a layer of shit.I mean, I couldn’t even take a step without stepping on that stuff.I was Mad.Seething Mad.Boiling.Fuming.

Revenge is a dish best served Cold but I like mine Hot,preferrably with rice or fries…(A certain phrase/movie comes into mind-‘You got served’!)….I like chicken meat 🙂

The moral of the story?Chicken are evil? Don’t underestimate people/animals?…I don’t know, am too lazy to think of one right now…Soooo…uuuum,let me let you //jstthinkaboutit?//

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2 thoughts on “CHICKEN COUP!

    collinstonui said:
    March 6, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    Hahahaha…. Funny. Nice one.

      alaneccentriq responded:
      March 6, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      Yea..thanks man…I appreciate it…

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